Adult Child Family Counseling of Mason

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If You Wouldn’t Say it to Someone Else, Don’t Say it to Yourself!

Looking in the Mirror
  • You’re so fat! Why don’t you go to the Gym!

  • Don’t screw-up this time! You are going to look like a fool!

  • You’d better get a good grade on this test or you will hate yourself all week!

  • You idiot! What is wrong with you?

Most of us would not dare say these things to someone else; but all too often, we talk to ourselves this way and don’t realize the damage we are doing.

Too many times we try to motivate ourselves into action by tearing ourselves down.


You might be thinking… “What’s so wrong with that?  Well it Works. I get motivated!”


The problem is that you have motivated yourself by tearing yourself down. There is only so much verbal abuse that a person can take before it sinks in - even if it comes from you. That is to say, eventually you get to a place where you start to believe your own harsh words.


Motivating yourself with negative consequences will create a bigger problem.


Every time you motivate yourself with negativity, you chip a piece out of your self-confidence; and one day, your self-esteem is going to Crumble! You will reach a day when you will not be able to motivate yourself at all.


Motivating yourself with negativity is a no win situation.


If you “succeed”, you have basically achieved not having to hate yourself. If you fail, you’ve confirmed the fear that you can’t do it. Sooner or later you get to the point where you don’t even want to try.

We have many clients who come to counseling who have spent years tearing themselves down and wonder why they can’t get motivated to change something in their life.


The following steps will help you achieve the positive change you desire:


  1. Start motivating yourself with the Positive Truth of what is good about your goal.

                        Ask yourself… Why do I need to change? If you can’t give a positive, uplifting, life-changing answer, then you are not motivating yourself with positive truth. 

            Start again!

                        This time, focus on how great it will feel when you have accomplished your goal.

                        “I will feel so good when I’m more in shape!”

                        “We are going to have so much fun when we are free from this debt!”

                        “I will have more time for my family when I finish this project.”

            Give this a try.

                        Finish this statement:

           I will feel so good when I __(Insert a positive truth about you here)_______

  1. Give yourself permission to make mistakes along the way.

                “So what? I made a mistake. I will eventually get this right.”

                 “Making mistakes is part of life”

  2. Learn to forgive your past mistakes.

    “I was doing the best I knew to do.”

     “I am stronger wiser now and it’s time to move on.”

    “My heart was in the right place. I was not trying to upset that person.”

  3. I when you catch yourself being negative, gently guide your thoughts back to a positive truth.

                Say… “It doesn’t help to tear myself down. I’m choosing to be kind to myself. I      believe I am worthy of love and respect.”

  4. Remember these two objectives when trying to motivate yourself:

            (A)  Realize you are going to accomplish something that is going to improve your life.

            (B)  Be kind to yourself and build your confidence in the process.


We would love to help you reach your goal. Please sign up for our email list to receive inspiring  email updates to power you through each week.