Adult Child Family Counseling of Mason

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Raising a Confident Child

Confident Children

Parenting is hard work!  It can be difficult juggling all of responsibilities as parents while managing busy schedules. Of course you love your child, but with everything that is happening in your busy life how do you know if you are raising a confident child?

A child’s confidence is dependent upon their perceived value and love by the adults that matter the most to them. Children can often feel powerless in our adult world and that they have little control about what happens in their life. 

Conveying to your child that you believe their opinion is important and builds confidence.  Children want to believe that you genuinely care about them and what they have to say. 


Here Are 5 Steps to Raising a Confident Child:


  1. Be Emotionally Present.

    Make eye contact when talking with your children as you have discussions face-to-face, versus from another room or by text message.  Take a break from making dinner, watching television or looking at your phone to make eye contact when your child is telling you something about their day. This gives them the message that you believe what they’re saying is important and therefore they are important.


  2. Recognize Strengths and Positive Actions.

     Acknowledge “expected” behavior by a simple comment such as, “Thank you for taking out the trash, you’re a very helpful part of this family,” or “you’re so thoughtful, smart, caring, etc.”  Feeling as though they are a valuable and connected family member gives the message that they are an important part of something bigger than themselves.


  3. Be Accepting of Mistakes.

    Parents who can exhibit confidence and take ownership for their mistakes are the best models.  Let them know that making a mistake is part of learning and growing up, and that it is okay.  Provide them with constructive guidance to learn from the mistake and engage them in a discussion on how they can choose to do things differently next time.


  4.  Increase Your One-On-One Time

    Include them in your activities. With younger ones, find a helping role (dusting) while cleaning, or help holding the leash on a walk with the dog.  With older children, have a dessert date, bring them with you to run an errand, see a movie together.  Talk to each other, listen, share a story about when you were young.  Tell them what you enjoyed about spending your time together.  These times together will strengthen your bond and boost their self-esteem.


  5. Give Options. 

    Giving children the power to choose fuels their self-esteem.  Offering something reasonable for them to decide, such as the choice between potatoes or pasta for dinner, between two paint colors (that you’ve already approved) for their room color, or deciding which game you’ll play with them.  The key is giving two or three options and letting them feel the power to be able to make decisions.


    Effective parenting can be exhausting. However, the reward of having a loving relationship with your child as you experience them growing and maturing makes it all worth it.


    The counselors at Adult Child Family Counseling of Mason want to help equip you with the best tools to strengthen yourself and your relationships. Check out our website and give us a call, or send us an email at:


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